expectations.

I'm a mgu. (mini grown up) or so says my friend Denise. haha! I'm in the stage of life moving from kid to grown up. Its had some major ups and downs but I'm getting there. While in this stage I have bumped up agaisnt something that I didn't intend on dealing with. Much easier to ignore it. But very costly to me. To my sanity (which I'm kinda attached to).

So what is this thing that I'm having to deal with? Expectations.

ew. Expectations means the act of expecting. Expecting what? Not sure.

For me though, it comes down to living under the expectations of only one person. That person being Jesus. I have several relationships in my life that have expectations on them and on me. For the relationship to be maintained. That is expected. For me to live under their expectations for my life. This is where the sanity losing comes in. It becomes costly at this point. These relationships are important to me. But with the relationship comes certain expectations. Expectations of who I will become, what I will become, the kind of job, the kind of husband, the kind of kids.. and the list could go on and on. I'm expected to do these things and do them to their standards. And if I don't perform, if I go another way, it causes disappointment. and guilt. and a whole heck of a lot of frustration for everyone.

I'm navigating this very tiny road with a very large load. I will have to disappoint the people in my life that are holding expecations over me. And I will have to be ok with it. I will have to have myself so saturated with Jesus' acceptance and love for me that I won't get caught up in the drama of the situation. And trust me, there is PLENTY of drama to go around.

Can't people see that I'm just trying to follow in Jesus' steps? Can't I live my life the way I see it to be and that be enough?

Maybe just maybe, I will become a mgu through this...