reaping and sowing

"Remember this, whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sowes generously will also reap generously." 2 Corinthians 9:6

This is a pretty simple principal that can be applied to almost, if not all, areas of life. You put something in, you get that something out. Even though it's pretty simple, it's not something I put a lot of thought into as I've been sowing. Until I started reaping.

Regret is painful. Reaping is painful if you don't sow generously. I'm not sure why I choose the hard way to learn these lessons. Maybe it's because if I don't feel the pain, I won't make a change. Maybe some of it is stubborness. Maybe I haven't grasped the concept of a full surrender.

But I have grasped one thing. I've messed up again. I've sowed a lot of crappy things in the past year or 2. And I'm reaping consequences of the crappy things now. Because of the things I've sowed, I'm reaping a heap of lonliness. Because of what Ive chosen, I've spent every holiday since Christmas alone. And it wasn't until this weekend that I realized it was all my fault. That it was me. That I have to take the ownership of what I did. I was the hold up in moving forward. It was me. And that realization is hard. That I am the cause and I could have prevented it.

I didn't sow generously, and now I'm reaping sparingly.