I usually come back feeling lost and incomplete. But tonight was different. Tonight You were with me. I didn't feel anger. There was no unforgivness in my heart. But there is the lack. It looms in the corner of my heart. A lack of connection. A lack of fitting in. She's trying though. I see it. I feel it. I appreciate it. But something will always remain.. I am who You created me to be and They are who You created them to be. Sometimes I get so frustrated with that. Why can't I be more like them or why can't they be more like me?

I choose though. I choose to accept it. I choose to believe the way You created me is best. That you have some kind of amazing plan. That whatever is next will be great. I'm ready. I don't want to look back and see regret. I don't feel like I've lived that long but I feel it. It's like a dark cloud on a sunny day. I've wasted so much time that could have been used for something different, something better.

You are teaching me so much and I am incredibly thankful for the lessons. Something has shifted in me. I desire discipline and focus. I want to eat the fresh bread. I want to really know You. Not as some great big God in the sky but as my friend, my mentor, my Savior.

so here I come and I'm only asking one question... Whatcha got next?