in the crowd

I generally don't like the major holiday church services such as Easter and Christmas. I feel like the church tries so hard to impress the attendees that only come out for the big ones. I'm not into the pastors looking to give the perfunctory message that is so often expected on these Sundays. The services always seem superficial to me. And maybe it is just me.

But anyway, I was interested to see what the pastor would do at the church I've finally decided to call home for Passover Sunday. Now I don't remember a lot of previous services besides the traditional "Easter" He has Risen songs. Once again, not my thing but certainly its completely ok if that's your thing.

Before the pastor took the stage, we had a little drama about 3 people's opinions and anticipations of Jesus and his coming to Jerusalem. One was curious of who this Jesus is. One was skeptic and confused because her son had run off to follow this man called Jesus. And the last one was a Pharisee who wanted an opportunity to get rid of the man they called the Messiah.

The pastor then took the stage.

He talked about all the different types of people that would have been in Jerusalem as Jesus made his entrance.

There were the curious. The ones who came out because they've heard of what Jesus had done in the past 3 years. And maybe they wanted to see who Jesus was. Maybe they wanted to believe everything they've heard.

There were the skeptics. The ones who couldn't comprehend it. Lacking the faith needed to believe that Jesus is who he says he is. They didn't understand why family or friends were so fiercely devoted.

There were the ones out to get Him. This group knew the religion but couldn't grasp the relationship. They wanted Him taken down and looked for every opportunity to do so.

There were the active followers. They came out to show support and love for the one they know to be Jesus. Their Savior. Their King. They may not have understand it all but they trusted in Him.

There were the people on the fringe. Not willing to commit 100% but willing to be there nonetheless. They knew of Jesus. They heard the truth. They may have even believed it. But they continued to hold back. They played it safe. Not taking risks. They were obedient but not fully devoted.

The pastor then went on to talk about some other things but nothing stuck out to me as much as this part. He challenged us at the end of the sermon before response time to take a look and ask God who we were in the crowd. Which description fit best for right now?

I really didn't need to pray to figure out where I stood. I pretty much knew the answer. I often stand on the fringe. Not just in my walk but in all things. Some of it is probably my personality. Some of it is probably fear. The part that stuck out most to me was the obedient but not fully devoted. I'm good at being obedient. I for the most part know my boundaries and live inside of them (on most days). It's the fully devoted part that gets me everytime. And it's not that I don't want it. It's a commitment thing. It's a prideful thing. It's a I want to try things my way first thing. None of which make sense. But I walked away vowing to be different. Vowing to make a concentrated effort to change. To not be on the fringe.

So who are you in the crowd?