death

the untimely death of a friend is never an easy pill to swallow. the phone call from a friend bearing the bad news isn't something you can ever prepare for. and everyone handles the news differently.

some need to be alone. doors shut, tears free to fall. some get angry. some get sad. others seek community in these times. while others laugh because they don't want to cry. there is the one who cusses like a sailor. then there is the withdrawn one.

the one who needs to process this is in her way. while she wants to be in community because the thought of being alone is just to much. she goes inside herself. she doesn't have thoughts. even when she tries to think, nothing comes to mind. all she can think and feel is numb. she wants to get mad. she wants to cry. she wants to yell at the unjusitice that a 26 year old took her own life. but she can't. nothing comes. so she sits. quietly as she watches and takes in the reactions and words of those around her. she prays. for the family. for the friends. for the people in this girl's life.

questions start popping up right and left. about her, about death, about life. but none can be answered. it's just one of those things that doesn't have answers. it's where leaning on God for truth and love and faith is vital.

death puts things into perspective. it reminds us that life is precious. so you should do the things that you always put off. you should tell those around you that you love them today. give hugs. work hard. have fun. you are only given one life and it's up to you what you do with it.