spiritual diapause

diapause is this period of suspended development is an apparent response to the approach of adverse environmental conditions. it may occur during any life stage. according to the britannca website.

it mostly happens in insects.

"Diapause differs dramatically from hibernation and aestivation in that during diapause, every cell ceases growth, achieving complete dormancy, with the only energy expended to maintain cellular integrity."

you may be asking yourself, why is she talking about diapause? i am asking myself that same question. while reading When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, she related what happens to insects during diapause to what happens in the human heart when God asks us to go into the cocoon. when he asks us to step away and wait with Him. to wait on Him.

during diapause, an insect stops growth. it chooses to not go forward. a caterpillar can choose to not become a butterfly.

i didn't even know that it was possible for a caterpillar to do that! they can postpone change for up to a year.

in her book, kidd suggests," There's a natural diapause in the human journey of transformation - a time when we hold onto the self we know. It seems that at the moment of our greatest possibility, a desperate clinging rises up in us. We make a valiant attempt to "save" our old life."

as i read those words, could it be that i was in my own spiritual diapause?? am i refusing change, refusing transformation?? have i temporarily suspended development?

i decided to read up more on this diapause. so during diapause, cell growth and development are reversibly stopped or slowed. no action is taken. no movement to growth. no movement towards change. Kidd goes further in her explaination, comparing her journey to the journey of a caterpillar. what would cause a caterpillar to not want to become a butterfly? what is causing me to not become the woman God wants me to be?

Kidd poses these questions that i want to end with: Am I in a spiritual diapause? What's behind all my clinging? Am I trying to save my old self? Do I fear a cocoon because I don't know what might emerge? Am I afraid of change?

if i can answer those questions, what will emerege will be beautiful. as a caterpillar submits to it's purpose in life, it becomes the beautiful creation it is suppose to be.